It was a cold Saturday evening in January, and I got on the car of a friend of mine.
It was almost a month after Christmas holidays, and I still trusted in the New Year – a weak feeling that usually disappear after a month -.
Nothing unusual happened that evening ‘till 10.
We were seated in a pizzeria, and while we were talking about our holidays my friend – I’ll give her here the name of Grace – suddenly held my hands and anxiously said:
“Have you heard what happened to him?”
Her tone made me immediately understand the subject of our conversation.
“Oh, HIM. No.”
Actually….. I knew everything.
Two weeks before the evening with Grace, I met a friend of ours.
The meeting wasn’t provided, so we decided to take a coffee.
After an usual chatting moment between two friends, talking about exams, work, her new hair cut, we inevitably talked about boys.
That girl ardently needed to tell me something, and she did it.
She finally had a boyfriend, and she couldn’t wait to tell me who he was.
She knew I knew him personally.
At first I was shocked, my first thought was “Blimey! Poor Grace!”
I had to hide that bitter sadness I felt.
I was happy for her, for her having a boyfriend at last, but I couldn’t stop myself thinking of Grace.
At the end of the day, when we left each other, I didn’t know if it was a good idea to text Grace immediately.
I kept on thinking without a break, drawing up a list in my mind of the pros and the cons.
It was almost five months that Grace had stopped mentioning anything about him in our texts, calls and meetings.
I have never thought she had forgotten him, but it was like if she had other interesting things to care about.
Is it right – I asked myself – texting her now, knowing that I’m giving her bad news?
She had to know the truth, surely, but I wasn’t so sure that it was the right moment.
I gambled on this decision, I chose to be silent.
It didn’t take a long time before the new lovely couple started to post lots of pics on Instagram.
Grace would have seen them, but I received no text.
When that evening Grace gave me that “news” I felt proud of myself for not telling her it before.
As she said to me, she had stopped worrying about him months ago.
Although she still likes him for being a cute and kind boy, she had quite lost a bit of interest.
But those unequivocal pics were like if someone has hit her on the gob.
After having signed in on Instagram, she looked at all those pics carefully, and for some days she re-started to think of him obsessively.
At first, she felt downcast, as if since then the last vain possibility for dating with him had gone.
Then she analyzed the situation from a new point of view; she thought it was a sort of sign, it was time to move on.
She has moved on.
It is always the same old story; you start being obsessed by the idea of THAT boy, and then – time after time! – this strong interest starts to go down like the drops of water that fall down when you close a tap.
Finally, you’ll see the last drop fall.
So, if you are wondering if it’s right or wrong to tell your friend that the boy (or girl) s/he likes is engaged, the answer is YES and NO.
The first thing you have to care about is just your friend’s happiness.
If s/he ‘s still blindly in love with him (or her), than it’s better for your friend to know it from you, and not from someone else.
If s/he, like Grace, has quite forgotten the crush, you can wait a little bit.
And if you’re not convinced on what I’ve said, take 10p. and choose heads or tails.